Tuesday, December 11, 2007
HOW THE SHRUB SCREWED CHRISTMAS: NOT
Based on HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS
by DOCTOR SEUSS ( AKA Theodor Geisel)
Parody Version by BibleBelted, PraetorOne, Matthew5, and DoctorWho
This parody was just too good & had to be shared.
I love Dr.. Seuss and the stories he told
Listening to them, they will never get old
Dr. Seuss told stories that made us ponder
brought our minds to reason & beyonder.
Dr. Seuss was the one
Who made activism so much fun! ~Fran
I'm posting exerpts (it's really long), but you can read the entire piece Here:
Thank you Sirens Chronicles for posting this post
It's the grinchiest best, cherished by most.
Up in Blue-ville
Loved Christmas a lot
But the Shrub
Who lived South of Blue-ville
The Shrub hated Christmas; and this was a reason
He hated the joy and the whole peaceful season.
It could be perhaps he loved pain and the fright
Or maybe his brain wasn’t working quite right
But I believe that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his conscience was no conscience at all.
But whatever the reason
The soul or his brain
He cursed through December, raising all kinds of Cain
Glaring up from DC with a mean Bushy smirk
He proved to the people that the Shrub was a jerk
Yes he knew every Blue up in Blue-ville above
Was now happily showing the peace and the love
“And they’ve taken my Congress,” he complained in a snit
“They’re praying for peace, they are so full of shit.”
Then he clawed with Bush talons, crazily drumming
“Stop democracy now, keep the freedom from coming.”
And the more the Shrub thought of the things they would tell
The more the Shrub thought “I’ll send Christmas to hell!
“Why for six God damned years we’ve exploited it now!
“I’ll screw Christmas good!
“I know how to do it,” the Shrub growled out loud
And he made a quick plan that would make Beelzebub proud.
And he smirked and he sneered, “what a great dirty trick!
“With some lies and the press I’ll make every Blue sick!
“All I need is a gimmick!”
The Shrub looked around.
“But since truth is rare here it’ll never be found.
Did that bother the Shrub?
“No The Shrub coyly said
“If I can’t tell the truth I’ll tell whoppers instead!”
So he called his pet FOX, then he called on the Reich
And the pundits crawled out, telling “facts” that weren’t right
And the corporate press
Came to spread the attack
Start a Yuletide war
To distract from Iraq.
The Pastors of hate said “Happy Holiday, dead.
“We think with out butts and we don’t use our heads.
“We hate all the Blues, yes our compassion is done
“They’ll pray to our God at the point of a gun!
“Then soon will we wake up, we know what they’ll do!
“They’ll cry and they’ll fuss and we’ll tell them ’screw you!’
“And the Blues up in Blue-ville will act as we tell them to do!”
“Here it comes,” cackled Shrub
“This I simply MUST hear!”
And there was a new sound rising up from the crowd
It started out low and then it got oh so loud!
But the sound wasn’t fear
Why the sound wasn’t sad
Te Shrub was aghast
The sound was upbeat and glad!
He glared up at Blue-ville
His shorts in a bunch
What he saw hit him hard and he brought up his lunch.
Every Blue up in Blue-ville, the weak and the strong,
Was speaking and telling the Shrub was all wrong.
He hadn’t screwed Holiday freedom at all
The Liberty came and it drove Shrub insane
And the Shrub in his anger, just couldn’t conceive
Why sane people heard lies and refused to believe.
“It came with the Muslims! It came with the Jews!
It came with Agnostics! It came with the Blues!”
And he screamed and he screamed, ’til his throat was too hoarse
Then he shouted for hours but his rage ran no course
So he fell to the floor and he chewed on the rug
His talons dug carpet, oh he DUG DUG DUG DUG!
So what happened then?
Up in Blue-ville they say
The FASCIST right wing really lost it that day!
O’Reilly went home and he started to pout!
Rush Limbaugh killed pain, Oxycontin no doubt
Anne Coulter threw up ’til her implants fell out
And the Shrub
Drank Drank Drank
With a whine and a shout.