Sunday, February 19, 2012

A mockery so well deserved...


Have you been paying attention to Steven Colbert's Super PAC ? 
He's making a mockery of the system--so richly deserved

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE, IF NOT SOONER 


Stephen Colbert Wins Democracy!
Kingmaker Pundit Regains Super PAC, Files Financial Report, Takes Nap

BASIC CABLE, NY – After a decades-long battle that spanned nearly two weeks, Stephen Colbert has wrested control of Colbert Super PAC from the clutches of his arch-nemesis and dear friend, Jon Stewart. Colbert then showed his deep commitment to transparency by disclosing the Super PAC's financial information several hours before being legally required to.

"Colbert Super PAC has brought in a staggering $1,023,121.24, which my accountant explains to me that is a number far above 'one,' 'two,' 'five,' or even 'many'" said Stephen Colbert, President and Returning Champion of Colbert Super PAC.
"We raised it on my show and used it to materially influence the elections – in full accordance with the law. It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country." 
Colbert Super PAC sent their forms to the Federal Election Commission on Tuesday at 12:01 AM, making them the first to file on the last filing day. Copies of the form can be found on the internet by Asking Jeeves, or simply clicking here

Colbert Super PAC, temporarily known as The Definitely Not Coordinating With Stephen Colbert Super PAC, is officially registered as Americans For A Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow, and is considering changing it again to John Colbert Cougar Super MellenPAC.


January 31, 2012 
Federal Election Commission 
999 E Street, N.W. 
Washington, DC 20463 
Re: Supplemental Memo To Disclosure Report 

Dear Sirs and Sirettes, 
Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow (ABTT) would like it entered into the record that as of January 30th, 2012, 
the sum total of our donations was $1,023,121.24. 
Stephen Colbert, President of ABTT, has asked that I quote him as saying, ''Yeah! How you like me now, F.E.C? I'm 
rolling seven digits deep! I got 99 problems but a non-connected independent-expenditure only committee ain't one!'' 

I would like it noted for the record that I advised Mr. Colbert against including that quote. 

Sincerely, 
Shauna Polk 
Treasurer 
Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow, Inc.

As a super PAC the organization can raise unlimited sums of money from corporations, unions and other groups, as well as wealthy individuals. Speaking in character, Colbert said the money will be raised not only for political ads, but also "normal administrative expenses, including but not limited to, luxury hotel stays, private jet travel, and PAC mementos from Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus
." (Nice jab @ Palin)


Since the Federal Election Commission doesn't require full disclosure, Colbert likens his 501 (c)(4) to a "Campaign finance glory hole": "You stick your money in the hole, the other person accepts your donation, and because it's happening anonymously, no one feels dirty!" Colbert is currently looking for a billionaire donor, or in the language of Colbert, a "sugar daddy."

Colbert initially named his Delaware corporation and 501(c)(4) organization Anonymous Shell Corporation, however, according to the  Delaware Secretary of State's Office the official name was changed to "Colbert Super PAC SHH Institute" on the same day it was filed. According to experts, Colbert's actions are perfectly legal and shine a light on how the financing of elections has dramatically changed since the 2010 Supreme Court ruling that corporations have free-speech rights to spend unlimited amounts of money in political advertising to elect or defeat candidates for office.

Hat tip to Colbert for shedding light on just how ridiculous Super PACs really are. 

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