Thursday, February 26, 2009

Octomom is starting to flip out

As for Nadya Suleman, the "Octomom" with 8 newborns, and 6 other children. Single parent, mother of 14 children, finally, reality is setting in.

‘Reality is hitting me.’ She said because the babies have been cared for by the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), she feels like she’s kind of been on a temporary vacation because all these nurses were doing such wonderful work. 

Suleman was panicked because she was given a list from the hospital that is several pages long, and it is labeled
A Nursing Care Plan

Very soon, within a week, at least one of these babies is ready to come home and probably two or three. She said three of them are bottle feeding at this point. But there is a list of requirements that have to be met before they’re willing to release these babies into her care.

The extensive list concerns housing and safety. The hospital is saying they will not release these babies until she can demonstrate that she has a safe, secure environment to take them home to.

Clearly, Octomom did not think this through. There are already nine people living in a 3 bedroom house.  She has 8 infants to care for, does not have her own place to live, not a space big enough to house her tribe/family of 15. 

If the fertility specialist did not have the sense or medical ethics to review or question the sanity of a single Mother who already had 6 children, 3 with special needs,  having 14 children, at least Children's protective services & the medical staff do.  They are requiring Octomom to show them she has it together.  Finally some sanity injected into this story. 


Christopher said...

Octopussy can't work and lives on disability and with 14 children to care for, has time for endless TV interviews and money for trout-mouth plastic surgery so she resembles her idol, Angelina Jolie.

What am I missing here?

Spadoman said...

Hard to comment objectively on this subject. The media has made her a celebrity, and she has allowed it. Many have already judged her future ability to care for her children based on news stories and the simple idea of how hard it would be to have to care for 14 kids under any circumstances.

The nail was hit on the head when the fertility doctor subject came up. Then again, it is a free society. Where, and more importantly WHO, draws the line on a persons personal choices? We all judge others. No one stepping forward to help, just condemn, judge, berate and opine about the woman's plight, self made or not.

We don't abandon someone dying of lung cancer because they smoked. We don't just sit there and say, "So what, they smoked 2 packs a day. Let them die of cancer." We help them through it, even if it is hospice at the end.

So the woman, based on the news stories, made a mistake. A big one that will have an effect on peoples lives. Do we abandon her because she is a fool and did a foolish thing?

Just a thought. I certainly wouldn't want to be in her shoes. I would hope that I don't make mistakes like that in my life. But as I struggle with diabetes, my family doesn't abandon me because I ate too much chocolate almond fudge ice cream and Oreo cookies throughout my life.

Is what she did a crime, a legal crime? To have too many kids in China it is a crime. Should we enact laws to make this sort of thing illegal and punishable in this country? Should we punish the fertility doctor?

I'm trying to close this comment and I can't. It is a horrible situation, but it happened and lives are at stake. I wouldn't know what to do. I send positive energy to her and those children.


Fran said...

Spado~ This woman has a disconnect from reality.
She had 6 kids, 3 with special needs. A child with special needs requires more attention, effort & energy.
So that was already like having more than 6 kids, respectively.
She recently did some interviews with Dr. Phil- and he asked her about adoption. She replied that she did not qualify. Not because she was discriminated against for being a single parent, but because she failed to meet the basics. Do you have housing for the kids, enough money to feed & clothe them?

Even the *Nursing Care plan* includes the question, do you have the basics... like beds for the babies, a place for them, a place to live.

She herself was saying she needs baby car seats.
She waits till after giving birth to 8 babies, to just now realize she just might need a way to transport them? Disconnect.
She does not have cribs or bedding for the babies. Disconnect.
She does not have a way to transport 8 babies, let alone all 15 of them. Disconnect.
She does not have housing together. Disconnect.
She stated she does not take welfare. Major disconnect! Her hospital tab for the birth & months of intensive care for the babies is already over a million bucks. The state of California is having to pick up that tab right about when they are going broke.
Plus she is on food stamps and gets disability money for her older kids.
I am not berating her for using social services in a time of need.... but all things considered if she was already homeless, & struggling financially then having even one more baby would have been a bad decision.

The question is no what does SHE want, but what is in the best interest of the kids.

It is not so much a judgement call as it is a *reality check*.
She is not a victim, but a person who continues to make really bad choices.

When the babies were in the neonatal intensive care unit NICU, they have one nurse assigned to each baby, 24/7- when they are released, she goes to no help. The needs of those first 6 kids are bound to be neglected. With all good intentions, there is not enough time in a day to give to all of them- on every level.

I know some large families choose to live more simply in order to have a large family. Kids can live with hand-me-downs, and even lessor diets to make ends meet. But they do need housing, and this single woman will have 14 mouths to feed.
Plus even apartment rentals probably have fire/safety code restrictions as to how many people they are allowed to put in a rental unit.
Even a 3 bedroom place would mean 5 people per bedroom for a family of 15?

Another couple that had 8 babies said between friends & family/church they had 55 people a day rotating shifts to help them.
Even then the Mom might got 15 minutes a day total to herself.

The tension, pressure, stress, sleep deprivation, and as the Doc pointed out, some of these preemie babies may very well have developmental disabilities, not yet known.

When she did the in vitro, she thought she would get one maybe 2 babies. Even with that thought, it was out of touch with her current reality of having 6 kids & not having things together to just cover the basics.

She says- I'll be there for them & love them.... that's great, but that is not enough. Part of being there for them is covering the basics. A roof over their heads.
Food, medical & dentall care. I'm not saying having kids is only for the wealthy.... but even if she could get a $70,000 a year job (her profession yields more like 35,000 +) that would not be enough to cover housing, food & medical for 15 people.

It did not just happen, it is a choice she made, and it is the children who will suffer and pay the consequences of this unrealistic decision.

She seems to like babies, not so much children.

You have kids of your own. One new baby at a time turns your whole world upside down.
Eight premature infants plus 6 more little children?

What is she going to do, show up at the homeless shelter, hoping they have 8 cribs available & space for 15?

The fertility clinic had an ethical responsibility to review her situation. Single parent, 6 kids, no housing. Her plate was already full.

But at least somewhere along the line, medical professionals & Social services is insisting on the reality check.

Yes these babies are coming home. All 8 of them eventually. They will continue to need 24/7 care, as all infants do. Right now just holding one infant for 45 minutes each, x 8 babies is 6 hours. That is while full medical staff attend to the 7 other babies in the meantime, and someone else is watching the 6 other kids.

This situation is a disaster & I am relieved that the medicos are enforcing a reality check. Someone has to Get Real in this scenario.

Spadoman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Annette said...

I can't add anything to what you posted.. other than to say,

well said.

Fran said...

I thought of an interesting parallel.
What if this were a person with 6 Horses. 3 of them not fully well & needing extra care & attention. This person has no barn, pasture & is struggling to get hay.
She then gets 8 more horses.
Animal welfare folks would probably step in & have to rescue the horses, so they don't get neglected & they do get the proper care & shelter they need.

Makes sense?

D.K. Raed said...

The woman is flat out crazy. But there are no laws against crazy people having many babies. Me, I blame the fertility clinic doctor. But then, he's probably also crazy. It seems like every step along the way, the crazy lady was enabled in her craziness.

I'm glad Social Services is finally stepping in. There is no way Octamama can show them she has it together. No way. She's got absolutely no way to take care of these babies. None. Her "plan" of getting some kind of degree while "friends" care for her herd is the kind of crazy that puts all her kids at risk.

I wonder if her brand of crazy means not giving these babies a chance at some kind of life with adoptive parents? Because I gotta say, I don't see any good times ahead for them otherwise.

Fran said...

Seriously....DK, they have to step in & they had to realize, the more time they spent with her, she has no grip on reality.

libhom said...

I get uncomfortable when people are so judgemental of this woman. She is suffering from mental illness and needs help, not ridicule.