something different...

Circle Game

Rest in Peace, dear Grandpa

 “Oh that I had wings like a dove! 

For then would I fly away, and be at rest”   Psalms 55:6

Our beloved Grandpa Mac has passed away today at age 83. He was surrounded by his Sister, and two Grandsons at the time he left this world, & went peacefully. 

 He lived a long and wonderful life, and was more like a Father to me than a Father-in-law. He was an amazing, multi faceted person. 

First an foremost he was a wonderful Father, Father-in-law and Grandfather. We looked to him to be the wise mentor. When I got together with his son, and we created a blended family, Grandpa fully embraced the family into the fold. He loved the Grandkids and traveled across the country annually to spend time, and they almost always built in a visit to one of the National parks for our get togethers. 

He and Grandma conspired to spoil the children fully, with gifts & desserts, but also with their time & wisdom. 

For many years Grandpa called us weekly on Saturday mornings.  We loved to share what was going on in our lives, talk about current events, and our views re progressive politics. When the kids got older, he & Grandma asked for permission to take the  kids to travel and visit for the summer months. As a result the kids saw Niagara Falls, the Grand Canyon, Colorado, Utah, Yosemite, Yellowstone, The Tetons, D.C., Olympic Ntl park, Crater Lake Ntl park, and Hocking Heights Ohio & umpteen trips to the Oregon coast. 

They had fun traipsing around with the kids, and having family time together. 

Yes indeed.... it was quite nice & the last time I visited with them was a trip to the Redwood Ntl Forest, before Grandpa got cancer, and had bypass surgery, stroke, a pacemaker installed, and fell and broke his hip. 

 Grandpa lead quite a wonderful life, with many twists and turns. 

He was both a (liberal) Minister, and a College Prof.

When he, his wife & their young daughter became sick with polio, the polio passed in Mac & the daughter, but his wife became physically disabled for life (pre polio vaccine). 

In fact she was pregnant (with my husband) when she became ill. Near term, they did an emergency c section & hoped the virus did not cross over into the baby. He was taken & quarantined & spared the disease. There are photos of Kathy in an iron lung. But even in the midst of her tragic health situation, she did not let that slow her down. In a wheelchair, she went on to get a Master's degree, and create a home health service, allowing disabled people to live at home & get the help they need. 

She lived before the ADA (Americans with Disabilities act) existed, so they had to pioneer ways to get her around & function in a world with stairs, curbs, and non accessible bathrooms. 

Theirs is the only really happy IRS story I know of... they were audited- they brought her in the wheelchair with stacks of their receipts & the IRS auditor wound up finding additional medical writeoffs they could take!

Grandpa was present for the MLK "I have a Dream" speech. A group from his church took a bus together. He said he was just a tiny speck in that huge crowd. He was also involved in the Southern Christian Leadership conference- he took the affluent white neighborhood discarded (newer) school books down to the deep & deeply segregated Mississippi, so the children there could have books to learn from. The impoverished areas & lack of equal rights put black children at a huge disadvantage. He was involved in the Civil Rights voters registration campaigns as well, at a great personal risk to himself. 

He took his son, my husband to the famous & historically huge March in D.C. opposing the Vietnam war. 

 He got in trouble with his congregation for openly welcoming GLBT people into their church. 

Some old members left that church & took their money with them, but Grandpa was all about peace & justice & equal rights. He did not waiver.  Even into his early 80's Grandpa still went to peace vigils, and turns out he was involved in many things- donor for a collective land trust for low income housing, a "no one alone in the hospital ER" companion program. He ministered to those in prison & helped keep families in touch throughout incarceration. He worked to help & feed & care for the homeless, did vigils against death penalty sentences. He did all kinds of wonderful, loving, helpful things his whole life. A lot of it he never mentioned, just did these compassionate things, quietly & behind the scenes. 

Grandma Kathy passed away before our first child was born. She never got to see him, but knew he was on the way. Her two grandsons & I never got to meet her.  A few years later, Grandpa remarried, another Minister, Grandma Naida. She was the driving force in putting together family get togethers, and a pretty amazing lady. A strong feminist, and also another person with an amazing list of things she did in her life, including a long stint teaching at a girls school in Africa, and later doing socialwork/ministry in the low income neighborhoods of Cleveland. 

She had a Master's degree, and Grandpa had a Phd. They were like a set of bookends. 

Always humble, making a difference & they were not preachy preachers... they truly walked the walk.

So when Grandma Naida passed away in August, I think a part of Grandpa went with her. 

Grandpa Mac set the bar high for us to even try to follow in his footsteps. 

He was one of the most amazing people I ever met & came to love & know. 

It is bittersweet- we will miss him greatly, but we are thankful he suffers no more. 

Free at last! 

Three generations

                                                              August 2010

Final chapter

These days, they have so many whiz bang medical interventions, surgeries, procedures, it is possible for Doctors to stop & fail to  and assess whether using all those tools in an end of life situation is reasonable, ethical or compassionate. Obviously, it is a very personal choice. But I have to admit, I've always thought, when I get to that "stepping off place", that I might very well say I'm done with medical intervention. I am going to let nature take it's course. I envisioned myself, instead of being in a hospital all hooked up on machinery, I'd be on a park bench feeding the ducks, enjoying nature, sitting in a forested environment.

And so it is with Grandpa Mac. Last October he fell and broke his hip. Life has never been the same for him. He did many months of therapy, but many complications set in, and honestly, I lost track of how many times he went to the hospital in the 12 months since then, sometimes major "events" that almost took his life. He was on a medical roller coaster & it was a wild ride. But each complication took a little more out of him. In August, he developed a life threatening infection, that resulted in the Doctors going back into the hip replacement zone & totally undoing the entire hip replacement, in order to get the infection to clear. With the idea that after the infection cleared, they would go back in & redo a new hip replacement surgery. He would lose a year, all that hard work to recover, and be back at square one.  In fact he did not consent to the major surgery, they were supposed to go in & do an interim cleaning up, but once they got in, they determined they had to do the major undoing of the hip replacement. 

A few weeks after the surgery, his wife died. Since then Grandpa has decided no more. 

No more doctors. No more hospitals. No more surgeries.

So there he is, at the pond, watching the Geese, in the trees. This week, the Care Facility asked if the family wanted to install a feeding tube. This would involve going to the hospital, anesthesia, a surgical procedure. Grandpa is not up for making the decision himself as the hip in limbo status is excruciatingly painful & he's on morphine. 

Thankfully, the family is all on the same page. We are respecting Grandpa's wishes. He has stated he is ready to die. He has not had quality of life for over a year now. Worse, he is suffering in pain. 

We declined the feeding tube. Putting this in God's hands. Letting go. 

No more hospitals. No more surgeries.

He still has a doctor, but not going to Doctor's visits.  Too painful to travel. Yesterday, they determined he is now in renal failure. His kidneys quit working. He has emphatically chosen DNR- Do Not Resuscitate. 

This is the final chapter of his life. My son is there with him. he volunteered to be with Grandpa as a promise he'd made to Grandma.  Grandpa would not die alone. 

The circle of life will soon be complete. Grandpa will no longer be a prisoner in his body. 

We are holding Grandpa in the light. He is an amazing person who lived his life to the fullest. 

One of the most outstanding human beings I've ever met. 

He lived a good life, he deserves a good death. Godspeed Grandpa. 

Creative replenishment

Locally, we have an annual event, the Eugene Celebration the big town party, with a raucus parade, music food, etc. Part of the event features two art shows, one a juried show, it tends to be more predictable, and a bit conservative, but they always seem to throw in a zinger, that leave me asking "How did they pick THAT piece to showcase?" See example--------------------------------->

Then we have "Le Salon de Refuses", the salon of the refused art from the Mayors Art show. In the past, in order to show your piece in Le Salon, you had to show your receipt of being rejected from the Mayor's Art Show. No jury. No editing or censorship- everything goes. Inevitably, Le Salon de Refuses always winds up with some of the best pieces, and some very cutting edge statement pieces.

I always go to both, because it's fun to see the local artists offerings- there is some real talent here, as well as it feels so refreshing to kind of stop the world as we know it, and step into the creative, artistic realms.

This sepia toned nude is an elegant piece that makes the human form a work of art, playing with lighting. How can so simple be so stunningly elegant?

A splash of color, reminiscent of a Van Gogh French Impressionist painting. 

This large piece with the gold foil background really needs to be seen in person to do it justice, so you'll have to trust me that it is a jaw dropper.

Anyway~ in this busy/crazy mid term election madness season, remember to take the time to enjoy some art. It'll do you good!

This political season

Get your Fiore fix....

I'm already being subjected to these kinds of mysteriously funded political ads.



The bad old times?



Ouch! A bit truthful, Eh?

More John Lennon songs...

Happy Birthday John

Today is John Lennon's 70th birthday.
Google did a little tribute header...



A message from Yoko~


Nice montage~


Now you want to hear the whole song, don't ya?


Happy Birthday, John, Love......

Bobblehead Meg!

Meg Whitman ~ the quintessential Stepford wife... This video must have been made before the revelation that the anti immigration candidate just happened to be employing an undocumented worker.
Ah yes, feel the hypocrisy! Tough on immigration laws, but having an inexpensive illegal immigrant cleaning her own house.  Well, thanks Meg, for handing the election over to someone else.