Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I did not kill the barista

Tuesday was a volatile day for me. I went for a medical appointment early in the morning, and there is lots of family stuff swirling around- a very high stress time.
So I went to Starbucks after the appointment to get a cup of coffee. I would be good, no pastries- just coffee. So little Miss Barista who probably had a few too many espressos, says to me in her perkiest, cheerleader tone:

B: "So how are YOU today?"

Me: I'm OK.

B: Just OK???????

Me: Yes.

B: Well are you going to work today???

Me: Yes

B: You don't seem very happy about that...

Me: Glaring stare

By then I was choking on her perkiness. I took my coffee & got the hell out of there.
I needed to breathe. I wanted to yell SHUT UP AND GIVE ME MY DAMNED COFFEE !!!

I mean really, did she want me to lay out all my personal woes right there at the coffee counter?
I could have ticked off a litany of reasons why I am "just OK", and an absolute tyrade about why I don't seem happy about my job. It would have been fun to mess with her mind, the self imposed "mood police" barista. If I wanted detailed social interaction, I would have brought someone along to chat with.

I was OK, but now I'm pissed off.
Oh to pitch an absolute fit, "When Harry met Sally" style, right there in the Starbucks cafe, would have been glorious.

A word of advice to Baristas: If you want to live a long & productive life, don't mess with people in need of coffee!


Dada said...

It's a good thing you weren't carrying your gun. Oh, I forgot, that's just in California Starbucks!

Anyway Fran, great to see you back up and about, back at work. (Oh geez, sure hope you've had your first cup of coffee before you read this!)

Mauigirl said...

I totally relate! ;-)

Similarly, as a denizen of New Jersey, I had to get used to the upbeat conversationality (if that's a word) of people in, say, the Midwest, the South and most recently, the Adirondacks. I'm not used to the grocery store employee actually talking to me and being friendly when I'm checking out in the supermarket! Or, worse yet, chatting to the person in front of me while I'm waiting!

Fran said...

Dada ~ Who knows-- maybe it was amped up super spunky barista types that caused people to decide to carry guns into Starbucks in the first place?

Imagine how different that interaction would be if, after saying "I'm OK", she saw someone loading their handgun with bullets. She might either have no comment, or say "OK is good".

But in a more comedic and less violent scenario, I would take my 20 ounce Vente latte, and spill the entire cup on said barista.
Follow it up with a "you know, now that you mention it I DO feel better than just OK!"

Coffee is brewing, interrogations are not!
It's safe here @ home, just couch pillows within reach.

Maui~ Yes! I'm sure in Jersey, the pace is just hurry up & get it done... cut the chit chat.

I'm not entirely anti social. I can engage in a little idle conversation. While waiting in the grocery line-- Those are nice flowers.
Or really! artichokes are on sale 2 for a buck??

But the chatty checkout girl is more dicey.
Is she having this casual chat while there are 6 people deep w shopping carts full of groceries waiting in line?
Because then the chat is annoying- you've made your way through the store & now you are done. You want out. Now.

I have to wonder how the barista would have responded if I would have said "I'm in a really shitty mood & I hate superficial conversations"

That would have been interesting to see the expression on her face.

I am not a morning person, and even less so before coffee. Baristas should know the signs.

D.K. Raed said...

bwaa-haaa-haa! the undead barista barely escaped with her life!

I've gone that "I'm OK" route before ... people think it must be bad ... like there is something wrong with just being OK.

Jeez if you wanted perky chit-chat you could watch Sarah Palin on Leno. She is kwaffee-spewing materiele fer shuuurrr!

(I'd better leave before that cup o'vente latte comes hurling my way!)

Fran said...

Well at least she did not say what my co worker told me about the dentist receptionist.... she actually said to a client-- "Are we grumpy today"?

She said she wanted to throttle her.
the last thing a person feeling grumpy needs is some idiot telling them they are in a bad mood.
Thank you Einstein!

DK ~ About Palin, that appearance would make you spit out your coffee.

I like the media fair and balanced, that's why I'm on Fox.

Good gawwwwwwwd, make it stop!

nonnie9999 said...

when she said, "just ok?" that was the time to start rattling off your cholesterol numbers (just make 'em up, the chirpy little bimbo won't know the difference), listing the reasons why the rethugs suck, and complaining about your hemmorhoids or something equally as gross. at that point, she would have started backing away and ending the conversation, but that's when you act like she's your best friend and confidante. start pouring out every misery you've ever experienced (real or imagined). how much you want to bet she'll never question a customer again beyond what kind of coffee they want?

Lulu Maude said...

I usually reply with C+ when asked on a particularly crappy day.

Just C+?

Sometimes, I clarify, a C+ can be a very good grade.

End of discussion.